I wrote this one for my friend Sarah, though I think I turned it in in both of my English classes my senior year. Don't tell my teachers.
The Royal Picnic Bench
We laughingly called her Guinevere
because of her long, medieval hair.
She didn't share any other queenly traits
Except for Christianity, but the name
Stuck anyway.
At the same time, we were inspired
to name her best friend after Lancelot.
It wasn't that they had any romantic interest in each other,
But, by character, he was too damn chivalrous
For his own good.
Since the joke had such appeal,
we extended it to the rest of us.
And so Lancelot's girlfriend became Elaine
Which suited her sense of melodrama and her tendency
To sigh despondently.
My best friend was nominated as Mordred,
for that was when he still wore black
And evil had its own seductive attraction.
He wouldn't have minded killing an erring father to gain a throne
And notoriety.
For some reason, when it came to finding
an Arthur, we chose a person whom
Nobody liked, as he was a rather slimy individual.
I supposed that none of us particularly liked him
In the stories either.
I myself was dubbed Lynette,
her catty and imperious ways
Somehow seeming especially apt of me,
According to my friends. I cannot imagine what
They meant.
We named our Jewish friend Enid,
for she was at least dark enough
To be a Pict, if nothing else can be said.
She was far enough out of the Anglo-Saxon mold
To fit the Pictish one.
To be appropriate, we elected our
blond, morning-eyed male-trap
To be Niniane. I suppose it's required
To retain a taint of innocence--endearing and annoying--
To be Lady of the Lake.
Last of all was Merlin,
which, strangely, was a girl.
Everyone that knew her found some cause
To worship and adore her, which suited her just fine.
She made a perfect Merlin.
That was about three years ago,
so only a few of us remember
What it was like to have an alter-ego,
Another personality that suited us
So well.
(1998)